8 avril 2021
In modern negotiations, there are silent agreements where, in negotiations where objections are possible, there is no explicit objection or consent. Tacit agreements do not necessarily have their full weight in determining rights for class arbitration proceedings. Twenty-one years old, a lively and daring young woman, full of dreams and ambitions, Sarah is going through the same cycle again. She meets John, an honest and upright man of the small town, whom she considers a safe choice. She silently agrees to stay with him so that she can live her first adult relationship without too much challenge or risk. John, although he knows that these two are incompatible, stays with Sarah because he yearns for change and excitement that he does not have the courage to create alone. She yearns for more and tires the relationship. After her previous behaviour, she is afraid to tell him how she feels, because she fears that he will get upset and reject her. One day, the relationship will end up arguing. We turned to the new book Silent Agreements: How to Free Your Relationships of Unspoken Expectations by clinical psychologists Linda D.
Anderson, Ph.D., Sonia R. Banks, Ph.D., and Michele L. Owens, Ph.D., for help. Ask yourself first what you get out of your tacit agreement, if at all. (Does there feel more control in the relationship when picking up the cheque?) Then you create an atmosphere in which you and your partner will feel safe to discuss your concerns without criticism or judgment. Better yet, put a pencil on paper. Psychologists recommend « mapping your convergences and incongruities, so that you understand where you and your partner are not in alignment, and that you shed light on what you have tacitly agreed upon. » Exploring your silent chords will help fill the communication void and find yourself on the same side. Now go ahead, make him pay for his dinner. After a few years, Sarah admits that this relationship does not make her happy. To dispel the fear of a new rejection, she convinces herself that she is too picky and that she remains unhappy in silence in her marriage. Fifteen years later, Sarah is finally confident and confident enough to realize that staying in her relationship is unbearable and that her silent agreement breaks – when she tells her truth, she leads to anger, pain and rejection, as she did when she was four years old.